It's christmas eve today but seems like nothing special anyway. Dont even have the christmas mood nor any christmas plans. My feelings now are just simply to hard to explain in words. Everyone ard me seems to be anticipating christmas countdown tonite..but for me...haiz...
Being invited for a christmas lunch party by zahara later on..then gonna have lunch at suntec. Still yet to get christmas gifts for the kids. Damn!!! Pretty last min but hope to get better offer and discounts.
He has to work tonite as well and as for me...well...will wait for him then...honestly, I dunno whats the road ahead of us but for now, can only take a step at a time. This morning when he dropped me off, we gave each other a kiss on the lips...its been so long since I felt that few seconds of gladness :)
On the way to work, he told me some things...I kept quiet and didnt wanna say anything cz there are two meanings to what he said...its either he cares for me or..he just wants no nonsence..so which is which..deep down..I really hope and wish that it wld be the first..
I know this road is hard to walk on...but as long as we have the faith, Im sure we can do it...not forgetting a gd fren I have as well...who said he will walk us thru this together...Really appreciate his help and concern and also those midnight rush to our place when help is needed. I must truly admit that gd frens are really hard to come by and this is one friendship I wld surely treasure and I hope hubby will understand that there are no hidden agenda...we all want to walk out of this..
Really miss those happy times with hubby..missed those days when he brings us fishing, makan, cycling and many more...Cant wait for that time to come bk..though many things have happened and to know that Im still standing here means how much I love him. I hope he can see tat one day....if I dun love him...I wont bear 2 beautiful children for him le...rite? nvm...must have faith!
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