Dear Lord,
You know exactly hw lost and fearful your child is feeling right now. My mind is in a complete mess and I absolutely cannot think straight. Please Lord Jesus, give me the strength & faith to walk on this tough journey which you have set for me. I always believed that you made everything happened for a reason and likewise for now, however, cant you see that your child is already at the bottom? Why are you doing this to me? Exams are in a couple of weeks time, my job is on the hook if this were to go on, I would go crazy having to manage all these, why cant you help me Lord? Why have you forsaken me? Why are you doing this to me?
Did u sense the fear in me when I got home ytd? Didnt you know I was faking a brave front, I was dying to escape all these and just hide away in the darkness but I know I cant. You must have a reason for doing this to me and allowing me to walk thru this journey of hell, tell me Lord, tell me what will be gained from this horrible episode? Didnt you show me the path to One Hope? Didnt you plan for me to meet ppl like Mr Wong, Reverand Tan and the others? Didnt you show me that miracles do happen when my hubby had decided to walk to One Hope also? But why when things are going the way it should be, it just have to fall apart agn? I cant seem to search for an answer? Pls tell me, send me your angels and tell me what sld be my next step?
I will not forget having to walk from the carpark to the flat feeling nothing but fear and the unexpected..when I knew and saw nothing dwnstairs, I still couldnt help but know that what Im feeling is definitely not wrong..and true enough, my worst fear was confirmed. I knew you guided me to remain calm throughout and be able to tell Boon what to do..but Lord Jesus, do you know my heart was beating 3 times as much as its normal speed, did you know I wanted to cry out, did you know my heart was aching and I was having cold feet? Where were you Lord when I needed you most?
Whole of today was nothing but jittery..mind totally switched off at work and as a result, I was reprimanded by my boss in front of so many other colleagues..Lord, did you allow that to happen or issit the works of the devils? Hope was agn and agn crushed, screaming and searching for some answers...Please Lord, I beg you...pls take away my pain and my sorrow. Pls take away my worries, my fears, my sadness.....
I have a bad feeling agn...will something happen tonight as well? Please my lord, pls help prevent anything bad from happening. Pls send your angels to cast the evil thoughts of others and be able to understand our pain right now. Yes Lord, we know who was the caused of this but I believe he is regretting his past actions and may want to repent. I know as well that I can nvr speak for him but for the sake of me and the little kids...Pls spare us. Pls give us a chance and give us the energy to fight on. I beg u Lord..I beg U...
Show me the light and the way...show me signs of the next action I should take and what I should do. Come to me Lord...
I need u...I really do...I cant fight on any further...
I am tired. Help me!
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