Yearning for your love

Saturday used to be a day I yearn for cz it would mean we can go out as a family. Right now, is just like having lost my family without any warning signs. It has been almost 2 mths nw since you last took us out. Just ytd, you had hurt me once agn. I really wonder what I have done to deserve such a treatment from you. Isnt marriage supposed to be a blissful thing? Why arent I getting the kinda love I need from you? You called me once agn and demanded for $ agn. I told u I didnt have and you started hurling abuses at me and blamed me for the predictment that you are in right now. We all wanted to help you, but you refuses to listen to us and insist that we are unable to help. Darling, hw can I convince you that help is just ard the corner and all we are waiting for now is for you to step out and take the next step.
After last night's abuses from you, I started to ask myself agn & agn if you are sill the man I use to know, the man I chose to married. U wanted me out of the hse. Whatever was said, I will nvr forget 1 thing u said to me, you said if I dun move out, u will beat me up each time you see me. Those words cut right thru my heart. You had forgotten the pain I went thru just to give u 2 beautiful children. Everything was forgotten...
Currently Im also struggling to sustain this family. With the amounting bills I have, I still have to go on. There is no one I can tok to..I wish I cld tell u my problems..I wish u could be there as a husband to listen to me but I know I just hv to keep on dreaming. Baby, do u know that Im also hving to worry abt the loans & credit card bills? Who can I then tok to?? So pls baby, pls stop torturing me further. I really cant take it anymore....Im going crazy soon...
I Love You so much that I m trying to hold on for as long as possible but Im really afraid that I may not be able to hold on any longer..and if that day should come...I only hv to say Im sorry & I will be watching you from above...