Living is Suffering

How true can that be? Very true I would say. Why must one live in this world to suffer all these unwanted pain and hurt? What do we gain from it?
An appointment had been be arranged to go OHC today, thought all was supposed to go smoothly until that fateful call from starhub. My heart nearly dropped when I knew how much his hp bill was..a freaking 4oo over bucks in a period of 2 fucking months!!!! Who in the right mind would be able to tolerate such a news? I was literally dumb struck till the voice on the next line kept repeating "Ms Chan, are you there?" Gosh..I am so bloody shock but I guess I was more pissed than anything else. Cz end up, I still had to be the one to pay off the bills...where am I gonna have the $$$?? CNY is coming..so many things to spend on. Red packet, kids clothes, new year goodies...and yet no one else in this freaking world is contributing!!! I dun print $$$, do I look like I can do magic? Why? Why take me for granted? Maybe prostituting myself will then solve everything! Arrgghhh....DUN FORCE ME!!!!!!
Can still vividly remember those words from him. Fucking blame me for everything? Why? What have I done to deserve this shitty life?

“If one keeps loving faithfully what is really worth loving, and does not waste one's love on insignificant and unworthy and meaningless things, one will get more light by and by and grow stronger. Sometimes it is well to go into the world and converse with people, and at times one is obliged to do so, but he who would prefer to be quietly alone with his work, and who wants but very few friends, will go safest through the world and among people. And even in the most refined circles and with the best surroundings and circumstances, one must keep something of the original character of an anchorite, for other wise one has no root in oneself; one must never let the fire go out in one's soul, but keep it burning. And whoever chooses poverty for himself and loves it possesses a great treasure, and will always clearly hear the voice of his conscience; he who hears and obeys that voice, which is the best gift of God, finds at least a friend in it, and is never alone.”