Suddenly feels like 24 hours is never enuff. Work piling up...and Im getting worried! Things dun seem to be going right for me and soon fear will be felt in no time. How? Just had a long meeting with Leong Seng and Meng Lee (think thats his name...) hahah....so many things to discuss. Then email from bosses to get this done that done...Arrgghhh...Just the thought of it makes me wanna leave ASAP! Work life wasnt like that 6 months ago...I was able to manage and get things done the way bosses wants it. There was no outstanding and minimal mistakes..but look at me now. Only proves 1 thing...Im not an operation person..since we have been moved to be under the hands of IOC, life had not been easy. I feel the stress..no one seems to be helping. This is definitely not the type of pace I can take. How? Am I still suited for this job? Can someone pls tell me???
Meeting Panpan for ice-cream and discussion later on...this is another issue that kept me all fuzzled up. A part of me wants my bestie to be working in the same company but then agn...haiz...shall not go in depth. All I know is Im in a confused state right now.
Im feeling so lost now. Had a thorough thinking abt my life and my future..I know what I want for myself and the kids...but right now what I really need is the courage, support and of cz...Financial support. If only moving out is just like learning ABC! Cant imagine what life would be like the day I move out...I hate the process of having to pack everything..what if I leave something behind? I just dun wanna go back there anymore after I leave that place. Who's gonna help me along? Im so afraid...but Im determine to leave. I cant tolerate the kind of life Im in right now. Im proud of myself though..for the past 1 month, I have been keeping quiet, swollowing every words said and not sheding a single tear in front of him. I had to show him that Im strong and I can live with the insults, etc. But deep down, Im counting down to the day I can live to be myself. Live with no worries..Live a life of a normal woman...
And for that day...I pray in my heart...
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