Happiest moment in months

First post for the month of september. Been rather busy lately with work that I can hardly find the time to blog. Now that my lappy is with IS for at least an hour more, Im able to finally sit down and pen down some thoughts.

Im feeling very happy & relieved since the talk I had with baby ytd. Im so glad he understood my thoughts and agreed to give me more time. At least for now, I can rest my mind knowing that I dun have to disrupt the kids schooling till end of the term. Been holding back for so long yet each time I wanna talk to him abt it, everything seems to choked right at my throat. The thought of risking having the relationship shorten is the factor that pulled me back. But after yesterday, I feel relaxed. I was so silly. Baby said I was silly too...He said I didnt have to suffer all in silence, he said I could tell him anything...but is that really the case? Maybe I wasjust thinking too much but the fact that I cant afford to lose him is something I can never deny. For the past couple of weeks, Baby and I get into arguements and quarrels so easily. There seems to be a commuication break down between us..we seem to be drifting apart...at one point of time, I thought I should just leave him, maybe he would feel happier but deep down, I know how much it's gonna hurt. But our determination to keep this relationship going is the prove of our love for each other...at least for me I suppose..I hope he feels the same way too. I'm putting in all I can to make this happen cz I know I want this to blossom into something more than just a simple relationship. Im already 27 and I wanna lead a normal and stable life..

Past 2 days was the happiest we ever had in months. There were absolutely zero arguements. We just had nothing but pure fun and enjoyment. It was just like when we first got together. I wished I could just stop the time, its a kind of happiness I can hardly explain. It was just ...US! It's been a long time since baby treated me like that already. I could feel love all over again.
Baby brought me to meet his frens on fri. It was scary at first..haha...I was having sweaty palms, I was feeling cold but he made me feel comfortable. He was trying so hard to make me feel easy :) somehow during some parts of the night, I start to wonder if I was doing ok....I was shy yet I didnt wanna give an impression that I was stuck up. I was quiet but I didnt wanna give an impression that I was unfriendly...it was a tough night but guess what??? I've made it through...Phew~ and I hope that there would be many more of such outings that baby will take me along. I just want us to be seen as ONE...am I asking too much?

Im determined not to allow anything to hurt our relationship but can I do it alone? Sometimes the insecurity I have in me, the fear I have in me, the negative thoughts I have in me...these are the feelings I wish I could eliminate..but can it really go away? I need confidence..both in myself and this relationship. I want to make this happen and Im determined to do so...and Im seeking for God's grace & help.