November seems to pass pretty fast too. Just last week I was celebrating my birthday and now it’s already the 10th. Gosh…time flies when it’s nearing the end of the year.
Invigilating a class now. Boring! Feels just like back in school when I’m seating for an exam, only difference is I was the student. Seeing the stress look on their faces just makes me miss school days. If only time can go back…I wish.
Can’t stop coughing since morning. Feels so irritated and still sick with all the chest tightness and breathlessness. How can I not stop smoking with all these problems, probably cut short my life span if this goes on : (
2 more hours to go before knock off…not sure if meeting him today. Still troubled over what happened. Don’t know if that’s what’s making me feel what I’m feeling these couple of days. Spoke to a couple of close buddies and I thought it’s probably only me that’s being unreasonable but I’m glad to know that what I’m feeling is absolutely normal. And the way I approach this matter is nothing wrong either. But the question is….does he think likewise? Definitely not. How can I make my man see the picture and let him understand without flaring up & resulting in yet another unnecessary argument?
The last thing I want is to totally not bother asking or knowing anymore because that would mean I have lost the love for him. I love this man so much and no matter what I do, I know I’ve always thought about him first. Be in planning an outing with friends, working OT, etc. I never fail to update him as & when…even for small little things. During breaks, the 1st thing that comes to mind is whether he had his meals, how’s things doing….What do I call this? Respect & Love…making sure he’s assured of my whereabouts, my activities. Making sure he don’t forget his meals.
My man don’t think likewise. A couple of days ago he made a statement to me which totally came to me as a punch. Till today, I can’t forget his words. “This is not an army camp. I don’t have to tell you EVERYTHING”. These words strike me so hard…it’s hurts till today. At times when I forget to tell him certain things or I’m a little late to tell him, he would also ask me “why you never tell me?” Almost immediately, I will be overwhelmed with guilt & apologized. Never once did I take it as controlling or like what he termed it “ARMY CAMP”. I guess it’s more of a responsibility instead of….An Army Camp. Oh well…I guess I just need some time to get over it…and especially during this vulnerable period where I’m sick…It will probably take longer but then…I’m Jane…I will be fine after awhile : ) That’s what I’m proud of myself…hahaha…Thick skin eh? Hehe….But that’s me what! Hardly bear grudge…yoo hoo….but then again…maybe this is my weakness too.
Oh no…it’s raining again....wet evening awaits us…damn…
Gonna pen off for now..back to class. Will be right back soon again…Tada!
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